Saturday, September 03, 2005

Titleless

I just realized that I haven't been using this thing and I do read a few now and then and wonder- why haven't they written?
School started this week and it went very smoothly. My dog attacked my roommates dog and that was horrible. I got free tickets to a show on the strip that was amazing. One of our house church members is off for 3 months on a new adventure and will be missed. I got to see the people whom I stayed with in India and catch up with them and find out how everyone there is doing. My roommates company was bought out so they sold all of the furniture from the model homes and I got a new couch for $100. I found out that my roommate will be moving out at the end of the month because she is taking a nanny job that will allow her to go to school full time.
Now with all of this going on and more I just feel weird, empty, and as if I am disconnected from my own life. I examine the world around me and the disaster and distruction, the love and fun, the difficulty and the triumph and I just ask- God what's going on and am I strong enough to hold onto You when it gets worse? I think I should have more emotion about things than I do. I feel like there are some great things happening in my friends lives but they require change and they require me to lose good things in my life and I want to be happy, I want to be loving, I want to be supportive but I also want to scream-- STOP CHANGING ON ME! And then I realise that I am changing too- I am getting more used to the idea that I won't be here in a few years.
I wish those who have moved and those who are getting ready to the best and hope they know how much I love them!!

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