Selfish

I have done it-- my car was having some issues and I decided that when it was time to get a new one I would get what I really wanted. And- I DID!! I feel conflicted about it because it feels so incredibly selfish but at the same time I am working for it and as ridiculous as this is- I can't stop smiling! I got home from the dealer late last night and I woke up at 5am and went for a drive! I don't have kids or a husband and I work hard for what I have so I now have a sports car that makes me smile. I have been praying that God is OK with my decision and I prayed for Him to stop me if I was making a mistake- I don't know if I would have listened but I know He is more powerful than my desires.
The very cool thing- other than my beautiful car, is that a lady from work helped me- she used to be a car dealer so she negotiated the deal-- it was awesome! Not just that but it was so great to see her outside of work and get to know her and really have the chance to appreciate her life experience and her perspective. I kept thanking her and she just said, "you do so much for our students and I have no problem helping someone that works that hard". How wonderful is that attitude!! I am going to use this as yet another example of gracious service and try to emulate it in my own life.
OK, I am off to go for a drive! ;)

What's next...

A friend of mine at work has started to go to church at Central. She is enjoying it and for the first time she is seeing that our students really need something to believe in. I don't know exactly where her relationship with Christ stands but the fact that she wants others to know Him and the fact that she sees the incredible power in believing in Him is a great sign! She approached me the other day about starting something at school for our kids, some religious group where the kids can come and find meaning for their lives, where they can have purpose. My initial reaction is-- ahhh I am swamped as it is and i am losing important friendships because I don't have time to keep up. Upon some reflection however I see that I can not just say no- I have to pray, I have to search and if nothing else I have to find out who else could be a part of this. Maybe God has taken away my House Church except for one member because I am supposed to start something new at school. Maybe I don't have to be the pinacle but I can be a part-- I can show the people at work that God's love really is enough, I can show the students that they are not alone and they are loved deeply and known completely, I can battle against the gangs, drugs and neglect with the only answer- Jesus. Hhhmmm maybe out of pain and confusion I will find redemption- isn't that the way of our Lord? He takes things away and grows us and then gives us something new that is better for us at the time. I still don't feel lead to leave house church- to leave Zack and the kids- so I will treasure every lesson God teaches us together, I will treasure his prayers, his encouragement and his knowing me. I will treasure his loyalty to God and to me. If God tells us both it is time to move on I pray we have the strength to do that but for now I will treasure what God has kept together!
On a different note I got to go to the NBA Rookie Challenge with 190 kids from school, what a BLAST! I don't really like pro sports- I far prefer college ball but I will say they put on a great show, they kept the kids excited, and we saw some phenominal ball! My players were invited to go and it was so fun to watch their reactions to the slam dunks and famous singers and famous players. They gave us a bunch of freebies and of course I bought some other things- we are going to put a display in the cafeteria to commemorate the event-- I am very excited!
The house is still on the market and not moving, which means that I am not moving. Oh well- God's timing.
I have been spending some time in prayer for my friends in Iraq and their families- I think about them often and can't imagine the burden of being on either side of the situation. Be blessed my friends- I may not take the time to call but know that I still pray!
I've been sick for a few days but I think I finally kicked my fever- that is a good sign but sadly I missed the Sending Team meeting for India-- I had to miss Apex for that meeting and then I had to miss that meeting because of illness- makes me feel bad but it isn't in my control.
Hopefully I will not follow my M.O. of only writing once a month but who knows- if not... see you next month!