Monday, October 03, 2005

I Got To See Jesus This Weekend

One of my students who is mentally retarded has been diagnosed with a brain tumor, the parents are being sited for medical negligence, it is ugly. I spent the weekend visiting the boy and loving him and here is what I wrote when I got home on Sunday:
Once I allowed myself to process what I had been told about Nicholas I cried out to God angry, confused, frustrated, and helpless. I wanted to know how my loving Father, who loves Nicholas, could have put him in a family that wouldn’t choose to care for him the way he needed. I wanted to know that Nicholas will have a place in Heaven even though he may not know Jesus or understand what He did for him. Finally, I wanted to know how to get over my anger and judgment of the parents.
I sought answers from my church and was given some great things to think about: God is mourning with us, He wants the best for Nicholas, He didn’t force His will on the parents but rather granted them freewill, it was their choice not to care for Nicholas in his illness, his parents are made in God’s image and even though they have made damaging choices God still loves them, there will be accountability but revenge is the Lords. These are things I know about God but needed to hear through my anger
Then, my prayers to see Jesus in this whole mess were answered. I got to see Jesus in Tiffany when she sat by Nicholas’s side and showed him love by coloring with him, fighting for him, laughing with him and then handing him a “Buddy” to keep him company when he was alone. I saw Jesus in Gail as she humbly and lovingly messaged the cramps out of Nicholas’s legs and handed him a Tigger to sleep with. I saw Jesus in a nurse who was giving the parents the benefit of the doubt while asking questions of visitors that family should have been there to answer. I saw the love of Jesus in a room filled with toys, cards, and books that had been left by the many people who wanted Nicholas to feel less lonely. I saw Jesus in a friend who volunteered to keep Nicholas company even though he has never met the child. I saw Jesus in a bright and beaming smile on Nicholas’s face while he played with his new toys. And I saw the result of Jesus’ work when Nicholas’s father came in to spend the night with a boy who has been alone for so long.
The Bible says at least 4 times that God is the Father to the fatherless. He is the greatest Father we could ask for and His love outweighs all the pain of human suffering. I know that God could come to Earth again and hug and love Nicholas and heal him with a touch. I don’t think He will but I do think that He has graciously allowed us to be Jesus in the flesh to that boy, He could do it but He lets us love Nicholas for Him, He gives us the strength and desire to pick up the slack for the people who are unable to love Nicholas in the way he needs.
I feel very blessed to work with such amazing people and I am so very thankful to God that I get to see Him at work everyday in the best and worst of circumstances.

1 comment:

MrH said...

This was good for me to read. It's nice to be on this journey with others with the same struggles. He is our strength.