Sunday, September 03, 2006

Oh the Places We Go...

I am currently in Williams, AZ with friends from school. I am so blessed to have people that I can travel with that I love and enjoy and we all can travel and see the area without any pressure or conflict. We took the train to the Grand Canyon and I absolutely loved seeing it again and it just made me question how anyone in their right mind could ever see such beauty and still question the existence on God- it could not just be an accident!!!
We have had quite an experience here in Williams- we are in a great bed and breakfast but the manager is quite a character- he has added to the experience for sure but instead of being afraid I had to remind myself to pray for him and to see the future when he will know God and choose to follow him.
I love these people that I am with- such great friend, they take care of me and put up with me and many times I question that but then the Lord reminds me that He has given me so much, none of which should be taken for granted, and that I need to be thankful and content. I want my friends to know the Lord as their savior but I am not sure how to make that happen. then I realize that it isn't my responsibility- my job is to love and pray that I can love with God's wisdom and not my own.
This weekend has been so great since i just started a new job and I have no idea what I am doing- I am trying and I really am loving working with the kids in new ways. I am mourning not being in my classroom but I think if I can make a difference in another way it will be worth the change and the mourning.
There is an ebb and flow in my life when it comes to my singleness. Sometimes I am fine, others I am lonely and many times I am able to recognize my loniness but i understand the futility of being sad about it. i have to believe that I am where God wants me to be- He has me single for a reason and for that I am thankful. I am in a bottom spot of that ebb and flow and I am obsessing over one particular person and I am praying that God will take that infatuation away from me so I can move on. As always I am praying that i am able to just be thankful, thankful for all that I have which is A LOT and that I would stop worrying about what I want or think I should need.
Though I know I am a screw up= I know that I am always messing up life, messing up my witness to others, and I know that I talk too much, listen too little and feel arogant and ridiculous at school far too often.. Lord forgive me. I pray that you will now as you have always done, redeem me and the things I do!
Thanks be to God for all of your creation adn for showing me beauty when you know I need to see you!


nicki said...

What is your new job? I don't think I caught that one. Hope things are good with you, e-mail me and we will get caught up.

Mo said...

Susie - I love you and don't think you are such a screw up (have you looked at me lately?). Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I had a great little HTML tag for you, but it won't allow me to post it. I'm emailing you instead. :)