A Way Too Soft Lesson Learned

X-Lax is bad. X-Lax is really bad when it kicks in on a school day!

Assasins

I just got back from seeing "Assassins" with some friends from work- a fellow teacher was in it and much to my delight so was a person from Apex! Sean did a great job in the play though he played a super intense character. My friend from work did a fantastic job and it was fun to see that he could sing as well as act! Overall it was a great night and now I can pray God's at work in the life of my collegue through a fellow Apexer!

Better

Things seem to be looking up. I am not sure what the funk is but there is still a cloud over my head.
I was appointed Department Chair yesterday- not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it will look good on a resume but really does anyone overseas care what I do here? Oh well, I have the job so I will try and do it justice.
Open House at school was a success, of course it is the best kids whose parents show- that is why they are the best kids!! It is always nice to hear that students are learning and that they enjoy my class.
Survivor- finally started and it was great! I was totally psyched about the 2 they brought back and am in a pool at work where I drew Judd. I think he has some potential but when he got defensive and acted all huffy to Jeff I think he might have put himself in some trouble.
Going out- I have been out to dinner every night for 3 days with people from work- before open house, to celebrate someone's promotion, and tonight to go see a fellow teacher in a play. I need to start eating less, exercising more! But at least I have gotten some great food and had great company!
Missed my "highly qualified" tests this morning because I am a moron so I am hoping they let me reschedule since I already paid! If only I was responsible...
Off to the theater...

Just Bummed

I just had an off day- I am feeling sorry for myself. I know that God loves me and wants the best for me and I am trying so hard to hold onto that. Somedays that is easy and days like today I just wish life would be done or easier. It didn't help that I felt like crap and then only 2 people from my church went to Perspectives- I was so excited to share that with them all, to share something that meant the world to me. I shouldn't take it personally and I want to trust that God called the people there who really needed to hear what the speaker had to say.
I am just full of bad crap today and pray that tomorrow is brighter and that I can stop looking only at myself and look to God's greater good in the world and in my life.

Obsessions

I was playing a game the other day with a group of friends and the fact that I have an addictive personality came up. Someone asked me what types of things I get addicted to and I said card games on the computer. Well, that same someone lent me the 2nd and 3rd seasons of Alias and let me say I am WAY addicted! I have been up WAY too late every night for the last week watching episode after episode and I just want to know what happens! I am sitting here watching tonight and wondering how my body can handle the lack of sleep-- that concern doesn't make me turn it off mind you! Another great obsession- SURVIVOR- is coming up this week and we have Open House at school-- hmm, do my job or watch my show- it's a tough one!!

30's

It is official, I can no longer say that I am anything but "in my 30's". How did I get this old- I feel very young, I act young, then I see high school and college kids and wonder- when did I get this old?
I can't seem to concentrate on anything this weekend and thus have gotten very little done-- what is going on in my brain?
I went out Friday with people from work and someone from our overseas team showed up- it was great! I love the people I work with- I am often shocked by them and feel incredibly nieve around them but it is a good feeling most of the time- there is so much in life that I just don't want to know! Sometimes I get sucked in but most of the time I just laugh and wonder what next, or hey I didn't want to know that about you!
Comedy night tonight-- I forgot to invite people until the last minute, I forgot it was this Sunday. I have some friends from work that came before but I think they are still out of town and won't be able to make it this time. Oh well, I am still hoping people show up so we can be a family that laughs together for a night!

Air Supply

I went to see Air Supply tonight with a friend from work for her birthday. It was great- a blast from the past! I could remember all the boys I had a crush when each song was popular. The crowd was unexpectedly old and foreign-- I'm talking there must have been a seniors discount old. Those that weren't old were Asian. I don't know what I expected but that wasn't it. The concert was great and we had a good time!
Of course it made me want to be in love... that is a story without an end.

Titleless

I just realized that I haven't been using this thing and I do read a few now and then and wonder- why haven't they written?
School started this week and it went very smoothly. My dog attacked my roommates dog and that was horrible. I got free tickets to a show on the strip that was amazing. One of our house church members is off for 3 months on a new adventure and will be missed. I got to see the people whom I stayed with in India and catch up with them and find out how everyone there is doing. My roommates company was bought out so they sold all of the furniture from the model homes and I got a new couch for $100. I found out that my roommate will be moving out at the end of the month because she is taking a nanny job that will allow her to go to school full time.
Now with all of this going on and more I just feel weird, empty, and as if I am disconnected from my own life. I examine the world around me and the disaster and distruction, the love and fun, the difficulty and the triumph and I just ask- God what's going on and am I strong enough to hold onto You when it gets worse? I think I should have more emotion about things than I do. I feel like there are some great things happening in my friends lives but they require change and they require me to lose good things in my life and I want to be happy, I want to be loving, I want to be supportive but I also want to scream-- STOP CHANGING ON ME! And then I realise that I am changing too- I am getting more used to the idea that I won't be here in a few years.
I wish those who have moved and those who are getting ready to the best and hope they know how much I love them!!