WOW

Oh my goodness, it has been almost a year since my last posting. Why? My computer was stolen and then I didn't get a new one until recently- I had my blog as a "favorite" and when that was gone so was my desire to write. It was a fun and BUSY school year, I successfully finished my second year as the ELL specialist at my school and I felt more competent this year though MANY things went wrong. I was given the chance to do a ton of leadership this year and I got to help with the master schedule, testing, and all manor of other things that will prepare me for the future. I also finished Leadership (required by our district in order to move into an administrative position) with a 97%. It was tough at times but I really loved the information and the people that I met through the process. I am currently applying for administrative positions and though I have heard from some big wig district people that my name is being thrown around I have yet to get a position. I realize that I am not a great interviewer, I end up babbling if I get nervous and then walk out wanting to kick myself! I am generally so confident when it comes to school but I am not as confident when talking about the Dean's office- I believe I have a general idea of how to handle things because I have volunteered in the Dean's office a lot but the details of it are going to be an on the spot education! I have gone to 3 interviews, one of which I knew I wouldn't get because they needed a person of color (my blond hair and green eyes weren't going to cut it!), I found out yesterday that I principal I greatly admire has a spot open so I will try and get an interview there but it is for a high school and it is even farther from my house. I know it is God's decision, where I go, when I go, if I go. I am struggling with that because not getting a job feels like failure, waiting on God's will puts me in my place and that is difficult. I am not close to God and that makes it all that much more difficult. I have not been to church in a LONG time. My house church broke up when everyone but 2 of us moved away and then my partner in church got married to someone who didn't want to do house church anymore. There are a few churches that I would like to try but of course they are on the other side of town and I can't decide if I can afford to do that. I want to go to a church that I can become a part of and living so far away will not help me to build relationships. I can't afford to live without fellowship so that will have to win out in the end! Going to a new church alone is also intimidating, satan must love that! I have recently gone on two great vacations that I will have to discuss at a later time... My brain is full, my heart is heavy and my hope is overwhelming- God is in control and I think I am ready to listen!!