Prayer Needed

I went to the hospital yesterday to visit our school librarian and friend, she just found out that her 3 year old daughter has cancer. While a few of us were there visiting the doctor came in to talk to them about how the surgery had gone. When we went back into the room she told us that the doctor gave her daughter a 45- 50% chance of survival after 7 months of chemo and radiation. The cancer started in her kidney and has made its way up to her neck. She had 5 miscarriages and then went through tons of fertility stuff in order to have her. Corinna only had 1/2 a uterus so it was a miracle that they had this little girl. Corinna is the most optimistic person I have ever met, she kept saying how her daughter was the miracle baby and how she beat the odds to get here and she would beat them again. She knows the power of prayer, she kept saying that prayer is proven and she wants us all to pray. I know God gave her Johnny Cherie because He knew she would be a testiment to His grace and I know that she was given to Corinna because God made Corinna so optimistic. If anyone reads this, please pray for them!!

"Freedom Writers"

Laid up on the couch I have watched A LOT of TV and movies- yesterday out of bordom I went through Pay Per View and got "Freedom Writers". It is a teacher movie and it was fantastic! My thoughts were of hopelessness- how do we make a difference for kids who grow up with all strikes against them? A very naive young teacher steps in and decides that she is going to win these kids for hope. It was so much like my life- not that I am that inspiring to all my students or that I have made that great of an impact but that going to work you hear, "these kids can't read that", "these kids won't do homework", "I am just babysitting these kids". I got the chance to do staff development this year and I flat out said that I didn't want to hear "these kids" anywhere on campus- they are "our kids" and until we believe in our kids they will succeed only to our expectations! Is it naive to believe that all kids can learn? NO!!! I think it takes some naive optimism to walk into a gang ridden neighborhood where cars are stolen, people are shot, and kids cuss you out for fun. Once you get past the exterior you see, they are just kids. They are insecure, moldable, seeking acceptance, and they do want to succeed! The movie showed something wonderful about teaching- it showed that you have to be willing to make a fool out of yourself, you try to relate but the fact is that you are the enemy in some ways because you are older and authority. That is a natural state of being. If you try for complete authority you lose them, if you try for friendship, you lose them. Teachers aren't meant to be "cool", they are meant to be trusted, they should be the ridiculous cheerleader in kids lives, they should call kids out when they aren't doing what they should, and they should expect more from the kids than any voices that tell them they can't. I think I am great at making a fool out of myself, I have fun with my kids, I teach in ways that most kids can learn but I need to work on setting higher expectations. I want my kids to pass, sometimes that means that I am too easy on them. A new summer project- pray for God to change my mindset so that I can create students who know they can do the hard things!

Hoof Surgery

I had my bunions removed on Monday. I have been staying with friends who have taken great care of me and now I miss them. I had a friend spend the night last night and that was wonderful but today I am alone with my feet up and BORED! Hard to believe how much I want to at least clean when I can't. I am so thankful for God's provisions for me- he has given me great supportive friends and co-workers, he gave me meaningful conversations with them while they visited and cared for me and He has given me a life that permits me to heal with my feet up! Stitches come out on Wed. and I think I can drive a few days after that though at first they said not for a month- I won't make it that long!!
Got a beautiful and fun wedding invitation in the mail today- I am so excited! It is so fun to see my friends start the life together that God has orchestrated for them, especially since I got to watch God work in them both to bring them to this point! Should be a very blessed day- I just hope I can find a date- one who won't be embarrassed of my booties since I will still have to wear them! ;) I guess I'll go alone like usual... plah!
I am off to hobble and get ice. I have been reading a lot of Jonah lately- several times and I get something new each time- I will have to write more about that later. I also have some news about work that I need to process, again that will come later...

Disturbing Discussion

I was at a bbq last weekend and was talking to some 20 something kids. They were spouting off about liking the Bible the way they like Spiderman, since they said they were both fiction. They talked about how Jesus was like a Super Hero who had been given powers that He couldn't have had when His story was told. I kept my mouth shut and listened. There was so much pain and anger behind their jokes. All I could think was that some day they would see the power of God in their lives and I prayed that they would see the truth before their deaths. I didn't argue, I didn't dispute because I know I can't argue someone into Heaven and I know that God will speak, I pray it is through my life and not so much through my words unless God has given them to me to say. To me it feels like growth and I am thankful.
It is hard to be humble about knowing the truth when others do not, I felt completely superior to those kids because I know God-- it wasn't a superiority that you would hold over anyone but a superiority that you would like to share. I think that is an oxymoron but I think I am often one myself!

Gotta Love the Mac

We have a program called Photo Booth and I have been using it to make a slide show for the end of the year. I giggle every time I look at it!

Honor

I just found out that I recieved the Southeast Region Distinguished Educator of the Year for my school for the second time in 6 years. I was all misty eyed while reading the letter because it is fantastic to be recognized and I work with such amazing people it is a huge honor to be chosen. Last time we went to the vocational school for a luncheon and I got a certificate from the district and one from the Senator. This time the lunch is at a country club and there is a new Superintendant so it should be interesting to see if things are different. In the past they shared a little bit about each person who was chosen and it was so humbling to think that I was among such amazing educators!
I thought how wonderful it was that I was just reflecting on how blessed I am in my job and how much God has given me through it and then wham- even more!! I could not be more thankful!

On a different note I just finished watching "The Heart of the Game". It is a great documentary on a high school basketball team in Washington state and one of it's players. She was destined for the WNBA but because of her choices in life and possibly her upbringing her life turned out differently. I am totally going to show it to my girls- they need to see the effect their choices can have and the ways to overcome mistakes! I recommend it!!

Stuff

Just a quick update-- If I haven't said this before, I will say it now- I love my job! I have so much fun all day with the staff and students- it is a HUGE blessing and I am so thankful! Basketball ended with the annual Students vs Staff game where the staff won of course! We play 2 quarters women and 2 men with a cummulative score. I had 8 points but I won't mention how many shots i had to take to get those!!! With only 3 women who have played ball before we struggle and rely heavily on the men. Mostly I ran down the court coaching the girls because I couldn't help myself and giggling at the women! I have now moved on to soccer which is just intramurals so everyone plays and it is HILLARIOUS! I had 32 hispanic boys on the field today and me. They make me laugh so much that I can't catch up to them to get the ball! It is a group of kids that are not involved in anything else at the school and many are often in trouble but on the field they are just fun!
Mo has moved in with me for a month while she gets ready to leave for some training in Pennsylvania and then off to India again. She lived with me right before she went to India the first time so it has been really fun to have her back this time as well. She is really good for me and often brings me back to reality with some challenging questions. I am definitely going to have to make a huge effort to keep in consistent communication with her when she is gone and as most people know I am terrible at that!!
I have taken my house off the market for a few weeks and redid the back yard. I am soar and bruised and scraped but the yard looks good. I was feeling way to masqueline though I know yardwork doesn't have a gender- maybe it was the ton of rocks and wheel barrow! So today I went and got a pedicure and a full set of fake nails. Typing is much harder! :o)
I spent Spring Break in Prescott, AZ with 9 friends and loved every minute of it!
I am crazy busy everyday at work and have had kids crying in my office the last two days because the counselors weren't available--ahhh! I told the counselors they are no longer allowed to be unavailable because I just end up crying with the kids!
God is teaching me a lot about myself in relation to Him- some of the lessons are very painful and much of what happens in my life or doesn't happen is very confusing and frustrating but I know God is there, I know He has a plan and I know absolutely that I have a TON to be thankful for. I am very blessed!

New Wheels and College Memories

Here's the new car- I LOVE IT! I hate the gas bill and I am sure I will hate the payments when they start but I love driving this car!

Our 7th grade students have all been awarded a grant for a $10,000 scholarship to any post high school education if they graduate with their class with a 2.0. I am co-chair of the grant and we are doing a school wide college pride unit in hopes of getting some buzz about going to school. Each teacher has decorated their doors in honor of the college they graduated from. I have both student store and my office decorated. My student store kids are all able to sing "Bear Down Arizona" though they hate it when I start! ;o) It has brought back some great memories of college, InterVarsity, and my journey to adulthood!

My dad was in town for a golf week with a friend of his and they got to meet a bunch of my friends. My friends did a little impromtu tribute to me which was embarassing but so flattering and so wonderful to know that I am loved so much both by my original family and my Las Vegas family! My dad was very flattered as well and kept saying that he wished my mom could have heard it. Dad and Bill came to my b-ball game as well which if you know me, you know that is so meaningful to me. I know that middle school b-ball isn't that fun to watch if you don't have a vested interest but it is a huge part of my life and I love that my dad recognized that and honored it by coming to watch.

I have yet another person trying to set me up- someone from work has a "great guy" that she wants me to meet- we'll see, I just hope that it is either fun and funny or not at all noteworthy- I am tired of having terrible stories to tell after these things!!

Selfish

I have done it-- my car was having some issues and I decided that when it was time to get a new one I would get what I really wanted. And- I DID!! I feel conflicted about it because it feels so incredibly selfish but at the same time I am working for it and as ridiculous as this is- I can't stop smiling! I got home from the dealer late last night and I woke up at 5am and went for a drive! I don't have kids or a husband and I work hard for what I have so I now have a sports car that makes me smile. I have been praying that God is OK with my decision and I prayed for Him to stop me if I was making a mistake- I don't know if I would have listened but I know He is more powerful than my desires.
The very cool thing- other than my beautiful car, is that a lady from work helped me- she used to be a car dealer so she negotiated the deal-- it was awesome! Not just that but it was so great to see her outside of work and get to know her and really have the chance to appreciate her life experience and her perspective. I kept thanking her and she just said, "you do so much for our students and I have no problem helping someone that works that hard". How wonderful is that attitude!! I am going to use this as yet another example of gracious service and try to emulate it in my own life.
OK, I am off to go for a drive! ;)

What's next...

A friend of mine at work has started to go to church at Central. She is enjoying it and for the first time she is seeing that our students really need something to believe in. I don't know exactly where her relationship with Christ stands but the fact that she wants others to know Him and the fact that she sees the incredible power in believing in Him is a great sign! She approached me the other day about starting something at school for our kids, some religious group where the kids can come and find meaning for their lives, where they can have purpose. My initial reaction is-- ahhh I am swamped as it is and i am losing important friendships because I don't have time to keep up. Upon some reflection however I see that I can not just say no- I have to pray, I have to search and if nothing else I have to find out who else could be a part of this. Maybe God has taken away my House Church except for one member because I am supposed to start something new at school. Maybe I don't have to be the pinacle but I can be a part-- I can show the people at work that God's love really is enough, I can show the students that they are not alone and they are loved deeply and known completely, I can battle against the gangs, drugs and neglect with the only answer- Jesus. Hhhmmm maybe out of pain and confusion I will find redemption- isn't that the way of our Lord? He takes things away and grows us and then gives us something new that is better for us at the time. I still don't feel lead to leave house church- to leave Zack and the kids- so I will treasure every lesson God teaches us together, I will treasure his prayers, his encouragement and his knowing me. I will treasure his loyalty to God and to me. If God tells us both it is time to move on I pray we have the strength to do that but for now I will treasure what God has kept together!
On a different note I got to go to the NBA Rookie Challenge with 190 kids from school, what a BLAST! I don't really like pro sports- I far prefer college ball but I will say they put on a great show, they kept the kids excited, and we saw some phenominal ball! My players were invited to go and it was so fun to watch their reactions to the slam dunks and famous singers and famous players. They gave us a bunch of freebies and of course I bought some other things- we are going to put a display in the cafeteria to commemorate the event-- I am very excited!
The house is still on the market and not moving, which means that I am not moving. Oh well- God's timing.
I have been spending some time in prayer for my friends in Iraq and their families- I think about them often and can't imagine the burden of being on either side of the situation. Be blessed my friends- I may not take the time to call but know that I still pray!
I've been sick for a few days but I think I finally kicked my fever- that is a good sign but sadly I missed the Sending Team meeting for India-- I had to miss Apex for that meeting and then I had to miss that meeting because of illness- makes me feel bad but it isn't in my control.
Hopefully I will not follow my M.O. of only writing once a month but who knows- if not... see you next month!

Deleted

I had to delete my last post- I had a terrible weekend, I got depressed and let that selfishness win. I spent some time repenting for doubting God, for blaming God, for feeling that God had abandonded me when that isn't what i know of Him. Thanks to some wonderful encouragement (thanks Gayla and Sherry!) I know that I am where I should be- I don't have to like it and I am honest about that but I have to know that God is there, even when I can't see Him or feel Him.
Starting again... I don't understand why people don't stay at our church but I understand that God is at work. I don't understand why I am alone but I do understand that God is all I need. I don't understand why I am still living on this side of town but I do understand that God has a plan for my future and if I am patient and lean on Him I will get His best!

End of the Spear

We watched "End of the Spear" at housechurch last night. I had seen it in the theater with some friends from work. It is the story of some missionaries who worked to befriend and share God's love with one of the most violent people groups on Earth. I had read the stories of Jim Elliot and his friends when I was in college so I was thrilled when they made a movie about it- the movie tells the rest of the story and it is great!! I had such fun talking to my friends when we left the theater, hearing their non-Christian opinions of what these people did. One of my favorite quotes came from Jim Elliott-- "He is no fool who gives what he can not keep to gain what he can not lose."
It is a marvelous reminder of what Christmas day really did for the world- how one little baby boy changed and is changing lives forever. We are so lucky to be able to celebrate the birth of our Lord, to know that He came, He loved and He saved. He lives now in our lives, in our hearts and in our relationships.
I am so thankful that I go to church with friends who will watch movies with me and discuss them after and we know without a doubt that God is there with us!
Merry Christmas everyone, enjoy the celebration- it is much deserved!!

Made It

I did it- "I ran the Strip" plus another 7.1 miles!! My poor sister flew into town to run the 1/2 Marathon with me and was so sick with the stomach flu that she didn't get to run. I felt awful for her! I have to say, I still don't like running but I was really excited to be able to say that I finished even faster than I had hoped for! I am very consistant at 12 minute miles so I figured with a little walking here and there I could make it in 2 hours and 45 minutes. I actually finished in 2 hours and 33 minutes!! I bought a Christmas ornament that says "13.1 miles and still smiling" and I will say that though my legs were sore I did cross the finish line smiling!
I also made it through to Christmas break- I am exhausted as always but in different ways this year. I have so much more responsibility this year but so much less structure it is hard to budget my time and motivate myself at times. I have misplaced a very important document and will have to own up to it when I return in January which will probably result in being written up. I don't feel that upset about it because I figure that even in this, a huge mistake that I have made, God is with me. There will be consequences that won't be pleasant but at least I know that through it all God is with me.
I made it through basketball try-outs where I was told I had to speak to each girl individually about why they did or didn't make the team- it was awful! They cried, I felt like an idiot, but in the end I have a team I am excited to work with. We are going to be very young, and very raw this year but I know we are going to see a lot of improvement. I almost forgot how much b-ball takes out of me until Friday when my friends were waiting for me at Claim Jumpers and I was at school waiting for girls to get picked up by parents who forgot them and then had to play taxi to 3 others!! AAHHH!!!
I feel sort of lost in space these days- God is there, He is prodding me, but I somehow just feel indifferent. Indifferent and disconnected. I love House Church but I can't go to Apex again due to the Sender Team meeting for India. I am the leader of the sending team which is totally exciting but right now just feels oppressive with all the other things I am doing and because I am lost. I have carved out some significant time to spend with the Lord and I am looking forward to being found!
I am sitting in a house that I love but can't wait to sell and once again feeling sorry for myself for being in this house alone on a Saturday night. Life... it really doesn't change much but it moves so quickly I just can't catch up to the time when I feel better about what God is doing with me!
Reading Isaiah I keep seeing how God has offered redemption over and over. This Christmas I will remember that my Lord, the Lord who redeems the world once and for all was born. Halleluiah!!

9 Miles

Life has been crazy- it is that time of year when I have said yes to so much that I am buried and loving it! I have recently gone to Duck Creek, Utah with friends and it was GREAT although at one point I was laughing so hard I farted and humiliated myself! I am not sure I have ever before laughed for 3 days straight but I have now! The following week I went to Denver to visit some schools that are implementing the AVID program that we want to start at our school. I weasled my way in and now I am really hoping that they will let me be the AVID Coordinator at the school. It will mean putting off going into Leadership and moving up the food chain but it is great for kids and I really want to be a part of what is great for our kids!! The trip was again filled with a lot of laughter, some crazy driving, and certainly getting to know my colleagues in different ways-- my Mormon Assistant Principal was mad at me when we were lost trying to get back to the hotel and he was searching the map and yelled out "Oh Hades!" Of course that just mad me laugh all the more! Then for Thanksgiving I got to go to Tucson to visit my great friends Barb and Michell and see their new house. It was wonderful- I got to see some people who I don't often communicate with but I really love and miss in my life!
The house is still on the market and tonight someone came to look at it and seemed rather impressed so that is a good sign!
Monday I ran 9 miles in my training for the half marathon that is coming up. I just had no idea I could run 9 miles in a row and though my legs are soar and it took me a long time I did it! Now it is on to bigger and better and then the race which for me will not be a race but an exercise in survival.
The only bad thing-- my computer was stolen. I have my suspicions but I have no idea what happened. It is in the police's hands and God's. I know that I won't see my computer again but I know God will redeem even this situation. The only thing that I really miss is my pictures that were not all backed up and I keep finding things that I use for work that were saved on that computer. I guess the only good part about it is that the computer was kind of on it's last legs so whoever stole it won't be happy!
B-Ball starts next week so I have to live up this week- my last week of "freedom" until March. It exhausts me but I love it!
Enough for now...

I fell down

I went running today- my long run of the week. I was mentally ready to go the whole time without walking. I set out, no problem, I fought through the big hill and kept running. I got to about mile 2 came to a very busy 4 way stop, stepped wrong on the side of the curb and down I went. I was sprawled across the street, I popped up as fast as I could and just took off. I started laughing when I thought about the scene and I think my laughter kept me going for the rest of the run! Sometimes I wonder why I am such a spaz but then I realise that God definitely has a sense of humor!!

I Think I'm Magic

This week definitely ended with a Friday the 13th feel but it started that way as well... Monday morning I was taking my coffee pot down the hall to clean it out, tripped on a chair and flung coffee everywhere, the order for paper towels had been misplaced so there were none in the school and I stole a HUGE pile of napkins in a lame attempt to clean my mess. Eventually I had to fess up (no hiding a huge stain in the middle of the office) and the janitor had to bring the big Zamboni thing down to clean the carpet- I have been told that I am only allowed water from now on.:(
Pretty much everything I tried and or did this week went the same- splat and made a mess! I did get some things out of my bad week however- God is there, even in my mess providing comfort (he kept me from crying at work several times this week!!), I got 2 new tires (you know there is more to that story), and I got a chance to just let go- sometimes when you are in trouble or things go wrong you finally realize that stressing about it does not change the situation, so by the end of the week I was breathing normally again!
I have figured out why I coach and why I teach- I think I might be magic!! I have about 50 girls of various ability playing basketball with me 2 days a week after school. They are all learning- you don't walk in my gym, right left up for a lay-up, the ball should spin back at you and be shot with one hand not two, etc. Each day I see improvement! I have one girl who is nice and tall and pretty solid- she isn't incredibly coordinated but she is very coachable! She was struggling with free throws and I went over to her, made a few small adjustments, asked her to do a few things and vwalla- she made 3 swishes in a row! She looked at me and said "how did you do that??" I wanted to reply- "I'm magic" but I gave the standard "I've been coaching for a lot of years now". It was great. The next day I did the same thing with another girl and again she asked "how did you do that?" they seem to think it is magic so I figure maybe I should go with that! ;) I went home thinking to myself that is why I put the time and effort and sweat and stress into this job- I love being able to make small adjustments in students to help them see success, sometimes it is getting them to stop cussing and staying out of trouble, sometimes it is getting them to come to school, sometimes it is getting them to line up the numbers right in a math problem, or giving a new way to remember something. It isn't magic but it sure feels that way when you see a child's demeanor change because they have finally seen success and then they want more!! I have no magic wand but I do have prayer and it works!!

Buy My House

Here is my cute little house that is for sale in the Northwest part of Las Vegas. For 5% under all other houses in the neighborhood or area. $234,900 hard wood floors, new carpet, new dishwasher. There are several pictures so be sure to click on the picture to see the next ones!
[ http://welcomehomenevada.las.mlxchange.com/?r=1685813439 ]http://welcomehomenevada.las.mlxchange.com/?r=1685813439

Disturbing

Well the house is on the market and so far= bupkiss! I am praying that the right buyer is out there and looking and that the right house is out there in Henderson and will be on the market and in my price range at exactly the right time. I know that God is in control!
I had such a disturbing experience last night- I was at the UNLV football game (as if the game wasn't disturbing enough...) with a bunch of friends. We did the whole tail gate thing which was a lot of fun and then we all got a bit lost in the game- people were in groups spread everywhere and we couldn't seem to hook up or even find each other. It wasn't a big deal because no one was alone. Somehow I ended up sitting right next to the Assistant Area Superintendant whom I will be wanting a job from in the next year if I do Leadership. I was being goofy and cheering for U of A because UNLV was getting their butts kicked by UNR and the game wasn't even fun to watch. I had to behave once the Super sat down!! The disturbing thing happened on the way out... we decided to leave early and were waiting while one person went to the bathroom and I saw a girl who I coached 5 years ago. I said Hi and she was laughing and yelling "Ms. Bageant, no don't look at me". At that point I noticed that she was in handcuffs. Her boyfriend was taking pictures of her yelling "that's my girlfriend everybody". I went over to ask her what happened but the police ringed up around her and basically wouldn't let me near her. The parking lot was so crowded when we were trying to leave that we started our tail gate all over again- I was completely out of it= I can't stand seeing my students and especially my b-ball girls make bad choices. I always want to think that I have a chance to make a difference in the kids lives, that they will have enough self respect that they will not make horrible choices, I pray for them so often and it is heart breaking when reality sets in and I have to face the fact that people make mistakes no matter what. God will take control and they will have to face Him some day but in the mean time I do what I do, I love kids, I teach discipline, I give them structure and I provide something they can count on.
I did get a chance to talk to Mo today- she is back in Vegas and it was so wonderful- I always feel that she hears me and supports me. I whined to her about my funk over my girl and over my job (bad situation with my supervisor) and she just listened and encouraged! It felt good!
Off to bed and then the start of a new week= basketball intramurals start this week so I am praying that I can head into it with a positive attitude and really have fun with the girls while teaching them the game and the discipline!

Changes

There has been a wind of change in my life these days. New position at work- I am out of the classroom for the first time in 11 years and though I really miss the direct connection with the kids I am loving my new job as well. I am in charge of the English Language Learners- I get to monitor their placement, help provide support for their teachers, model lessons and all sorts of other things. I do a lot of sign language and acting things out- basically making a fool out of myself trying to communicate but I am loving it because I am good at it- the fool part that is! I am seeing the staff from a completely different perspective and not liking that so much- people that I really enjoyed working with before do some crazy things in their classrooms that I don't respect or understand. People warned me that being in the office would be different and they weren't joking! I am actually getting the chance to work very closely with some really incredible teachers and I feel like I am able to help some others to at least learn to deal with the non-English speakers but there are some that I truely think hate kids- what is that about, how can you do this job and not like or want the best for kids???!!!?!?!? I just don't get it- the vacations are great, the actual contract hours are great but teaching is hard, it is draining, it is thankless, you take it all home and worry night and day about the kids and what you are able to do for them. I LOVE IT or I just couldn't do it so I can't understand those that are there for a paycheck. God help them because I would think that damaging a child reaps some heavy consequence.
I had a crying mom in my office today telling me about her son who she thinks was molested by her husband- the child is severly depressed and isn't coming to school. I had this young man as a student 2 years ago and really enjoyed him, I gave the mom the best advice I could, tried to encourage her to seek professional help, got the counselor to come in and give her referrals for good counseling agencies, and I have prayed for them to be healed. The problem is that I also offered to go get the kid when he doesn't come to school- the mom agreed but when she left I found out that I am not able to do that- I should have known that i am not allowed to drive kids around (of course I am the taxi during b-ball season) but this is different. I should have known that I don't want to put myself in a position of being alone with a male student, I should have known so much but my need to help clouded my judgement. I now have to call the mom and tell her that there is basically nothing I can do to help her get her son to school- we don't do that is what I was told by the admins. It is hard for me to swallow- we are not able to do good things for kids because we are not able to save them from their lives, we fear law suits and accusations, we don't have the power to change the evil many of them go home to. Again I say God help these people because I think there are horrible consequences to damaging a child!!
Oops- I guess that was bugging me more than I realized- I forgot to go along with my theme of changes.
I am also putting my house up for sale at the end of this week. I have decided that it is about time to move to the other side of town where the majority of my life is conducted. I have a dream of opening my new house up for dinner once a week and inviting all of the people I hang out with from work. I am dreaming that God will transform a weekly dinner into a House Church of non-Christians and that they will come to know God and seek His will in their lives. I pray that I will get to be a part of that!
My sister and I are also training for the half marathon= running sucks but I am really trying to get my butt moving! I got an iPod armband for my birthday so that has helped- I need to find some more upbeat music though, I find myself skipping lots of songs I have on there because they are too mellow= makes me want to slow down or stop, well actually just the fact that I am running makes me want to slow down or stop. I have always done sports that required me to run but without a ball I find running rather hellish. Why the marathon then... because I can and it is good for me and because my friend Liz ran the whole thing last year and she looks great!! Weight loss potential is a great motivator!!
Whew- I'm exhausted, maybe this is why I don't update this thing very often!!

Oh the Places We Go...

I am currently in Williams, AZ with friends from school. I am so blessed to have people that I can travel with that I love and enjoy and we all can travel and see the area without any pressure or conflict. We took the train to the Grand Canyon and I absolutely loved seeing it again and it just made me question how anyone in their right mind could ever see such beauty and still question the existence on God- it could not just be an accident!!!
We have had quite an experience here in Williams- we are in a great bed and breakfast but the manager is quite a character- he has added to the experience for sure but instead of being afraid I had to remind myself to pray for him and to see the future when he will know God and choose to follow him.
I love these people that I am with- such great friend, they take care of me and put up with me and many times I question that but then the Lord reminds me that He has given me so much, none of which should be taken for granted, and that I need to be thankful and content. I want my friends to know the Lord as their savior but I am not sure how to make that happen. then I realize that it isn't my responsibility- my job is to love and pray that I can love with God's wisdom and not my own.
This weekend has been so great since i just started a new job and I have no idea what I am doing- I am trying and I really am loving working with the kids in new ways. I am mourning not being in my classroom but I think if I can make a difference in another way it will be worth the change and the mourning.
There is an ebb and flow in my life when it comes to my singleness. Sometimes I am fine, others I am lonely and many times I am able to recognize my loniness but i understand the futility of being sad about it. i have to believe that I am where God wants me to be- He has me single for a reason and for that I am thankful. I am in a bottom spot of that ebb and flow and I am obsessing over one particular person and I am praying that God will take that infatuation away from me so I can move on. As always I am praying that i am able to just be thankful, thankful for all that I have which is A LOT and that I would stop worrying about what I want or think I should need.
Though I know I am a screw up= I know that I am always messing up life, messing up my witness to others, and I know that I talk too much, listen too little and feel arogant and ridiculous at school far too often.. Lord forgive me. I pray that you will now as you have always done, redeem me and the things I do!
Thanks be to God for all of your creation adn for showing me beauty when you know I need to see you!